• Angela G

    I understand your desire to hide the ugly parts of the English language from her. My oldest is 8 and I’ve already heard him say “OH SH…” once.  The thing is kids want answers. Especially school aged children.  And more than wanting answers, they NEED answers. If you told her that a bitch means female dog but people use it to insault women, what harm would that do?  She would definitely know why she shouldn’t use it and she will know in the future that she really can come to you with anything and you will respect her curiosity with straight facts. Otherwise, what will happen is she will learn that mommy doesnt really like answers her tough questions and start learning from her friends and the internet. So to answer your question I would be very honest and try not to make a big deal about it, but definitely make it clear that it’s not acceptible language.  The questions are only going to get harder to answer from this point on.  My cousin once asked his mom at the age of 10 “what’s an orgasm”. The kids in school were ALREADY talking this way and it’s really just a reality of kids in school these days.  As much as I don’t like it, I do believe that as parents we need to keep lines of communication open with our children and be honest whenever possible.  If the subject matter is simply way beyond their years even saying “I understand your curiosity but we will have to talk about this one when you are X years old”. Just be careful because if you say that for every question they have they will stop asking and get the information from other sources.  I personally think this is a simple question that can be answered without too much fuss.

    • http://www.sarachi.ca SaraChi

      Thanks Angela for your insights, I can tell it’s from professional aspect.  I don’t necessary want to hide the ugly part of English (not that I know much of of it :) ) but it’s the WHY they want to use it in the first place.  I also need to remember whenever whatever I tell her, the 8-year-old is listening too.  Not too long ago, she asked me what’s gay because (no surprise!) one of her friend was called on, we spent the whole car trip to school talking about gay/lesbian, stereotype/discrimination and we were all quite happy with it; maybe this time I was taken aback by the topic and certainly am offended if someone call me that, I couldn’t figure out the best way to respond.  You are absolutely right the kids NEED answers from us, the trusting parents; so the clarification homework will be, b*tch is for ying and b*stard is for yang and both words should never be used toward people under any circumstances.

  • Mberg

    Tell her the “B”word is any word people who don’t know any “better” use.  keep going Sarah!  To this day my kids (25 and 23) cringe when they hear people swear.  One time my son said the “f” word to me.  I asked him if he was trying to hurt me by using it because it didn’t.  I told him frankly the word “love” has hurt more people than the “f” word.  He just looked like a moron using it.  My point is – if you were to ask my kids today what was the most important lesson they learned as kids they would tell you the ban on swearing was best. 

    • http://www.sarachi.ca SaraChi

      Thank you Marcy, love how you put “better” to work :) I understand swearing *sometimes* can be big relief for whatever emotions, I never want it to become habit and often that’s where it starts.  Blessing to your kids and kudos to mom!!