I Have Been Faking For So Long

I am nervous today.  I am usually nervous when I was put under spotlight, like speak in front of a group, or worse, for an impromptu speech; I am usually nervous when I realized I had made big mistake, for example I found out I screwed up my daughter’s RESP that the money we can take back at full term is much less than the money we put in, sucks!  I am usually nervous when I have  to make big decision too, like marrying my husband after we’ve been together for 10 years and I literally lived with my then future MIL for over 2 years.

But today is a bit different.  You see, this evening I am going to Kathy Buckworth ‘s Girls Night Out at Springridge Farm and meet a bunch of cool people I know from Twitter.  Some of them are successful business owners and some of them are amazing moms, they are all funny and loving life, they are THE celebs on Twitter and I like them a lot.  The problem is, I don’t know if they will like me as much, or, like me at all.  Yeah, I am such a baby.  So I hope it is not too late to confess what a real person I am, before the time runs out.


I am a very boring person, I have no particular interest, and essentially a conversation killer.

I don’t wear makeup, it takes no longer than 60 seconds to fix my upper part even now my girls don’t really need my attention in the morning, I admire those moms who always, always look glamor even when their kids are younger than mine.

I don’t watch popular TV shows people talk about on Twitter, like Glee, or Lost or 24, I only watch CSI, The MentalistCriminal Minds (you get the idea) to prove that I am a logical thinker, smart person in an unreal world.  You have to understand it was a huge relief when Kathy and Anne tweeted about they don’t watch/like Glee ether, I decided to come out of it.

Sneaky (or Nasty if you really want to call it)

The thing is, I know a lot of going on on Twitter by observing people’s talk, like Sharon‘s son got sick after a splash pad play date, JoAnne and Heather usually hit the gym at 5am (unimaginable for me), or Jacki is going to start her business very soon, and Tamara‘s daughter won the Oakville Cup soccer…

I listen, not participate much in the conversation. Why? Not because I type slow, or my internet connection is slow, or I slow talk or I slow move; because I like to know people in a quiet way and I try not to be a conversation killer before I kill myself.  By the way, all the slow stuff here are true.


Some of you already know how competitive I am as a mom, I am especially competitive when it comes to the “status”.  Say, both Julie and Laurel are very popular and they are good friends, then I want to be their friends too, I want to be IN THE CIRCLE, I want to be ON THE LIST.  IT IS A BIG DEAL, for me.

In about six hours I will find out the truth — I will find out where, if not whether, I belong, and maybe I won’t be afraid to share my dark sides any more.

Will you let me know? Please talk slowly, thank you.

Sara Chi Written by:

Sara is a mother of two witty, wonderful teen/tween girls who she tries to embrace with girl power without exasperation. Sara asks a lot of whys, this may or may not have something to do with the girls, however, please don't ask why she does that. Sara often speaks her mind with bluntness and people think she is funny, it has happened more than she can count. As smart as she is, this remains mysterious.

  • Kathy Buckworth

    I’ve met you a few times, IRL, and you’re fabulous. Looking forward to hanging out with you tonight and letting some other Tweeps meet you as well.

    • Thank you Kathy, and I’ll shut up, don’t worry 🙂

  • annegreen

    See the think is I think we’re ALL celebs on twitter! LOL Are we riding together? Call me!

    • Can’t wait ! I’ll shut up a little, hopefully that will help you get over with the crankiness 🙂

  • Kathleen (DroolMama)

    Sara – Don’t worry, I’m hoping I have more than 140 characters of interesting stuff to share tonight too 🙂 See you then!

    • Looking forward to seeing soon !

  • Joanne Wallace

    Oh Sara – you’re hardly a conversation killer and in fact I burst out laughing when I read that. I am happy to say that the times I have met you, you’ve been engaging, talkative and a delight to be around. I look forward to spending more time with you IRL. Buckworth on the other hand… ; )

    • Thanks Joanne, your magic wand is working ! I’ll be the messenger to tell Kathy later, and please don’t shoot me… 🙂

  • katie

    Hey, Sara. I knew you at the beginning ..You are amazing and I’m so proud to be your friend. You have truly grown in many ways. – certainly more outspoken, more knowledgeable and worldly and always curious about everything ..and you are a great mom… ..Your friends sound terrific..can I join ?

    • OMG, is this you Katie? You are actually reading and commenting my blog??!!! Thank you for always being my friend, please come join on Twitter I’ve got more awesome friends to share with you now!

  • Heather

    Sara! Twitter is the great equalizer. I won’t be there tonight but would be happy to tweet-up with you anytime. Have fun…(and keep Buckworth away from the animals!).

    • Heather! Look forward to tweetup anytime, so when is it??? Kathy was not close to animals tonight (I think) but she got to be like Madonna, with mic. 🙂

  • vicky weiss

    I dont think you are boring at all. Loved your blog post.

    • Thank you for reading Vicky, hope I get to chat with you more next time, promise I’ll be more interesting 🙂

  • Rebecca @bitofmomsense

    This is a great post because it’s honest, and there is nothing fake about that!

    You want boring? 😉 I prefer to eat at 4:30 so that all of us can eat together before the kids get over tired. I like to take a hot bath and surf/tweet before, when possible, an early bed and I say ‘sorry but I can’t’ to most invites that involve me leaving the house 😉

    BUT I do love Glee…;)

    • Thank you Rebecca ! Good to know the 4:30 meal and thanks for sharing yourself with me, think we’ll find each other quickly in a crowd. You still win cause you love Glee…. 🙂